Abandonment Depression
Designing a False Self
Separation Anxiety
The separation anxiety (great fear and complete loneliness) is accompanied with a following abandonment depression,- terms that describe the cause and primary clinical symptom of mirroring flaws, where the child experiences an unhealthy separation during personality development, The psyche creates a blanket of emotional memory loss. Not always, but mostly, not the actual happenings, but the memory of the emotional effect. The false self is the ´blanket` built to maintain the memory loss..
Abandonment Depression
A Depression is not an emotion. It is a Cluster of many, not regenerated emotions. This can f.ex. be emotions of great despair, anxiety, shame, pain and inadequacy, bundled together in one suffering experience.
It is the body´s way of messaging an overload. The way to regenerate from a depression is to listen to the message and feel the affect of the emotions inside of the depression = work through. and last but most importantly act according to one´s own wishes and dreams.
How is the abandonment depression designed?
It is necessary to understand that the child is in no condition to reason maturely with abusive and neglective behavior, and is completely dependent on the abuser to give him/her an intra psychic healthy experience of the self. A healthy psyche can not be designed if the child is expected to bare parents own (not healed) abandonment issues. This creates an denied unhealthy separation for the child and is expressed from caregivers as; an ongoing criticism, overcontrol, neglect, lack of interest in the childs dreams and wishes, violence or abuse.
¨It is me¨!
The child finds other fantasy projects too sooth themselves and will pr. definition (metaphorically) say; ``it is me. I am the one causing this, because my parents love me``. The child is completely dependent and 100% vulnerable towards the caretakers ability to recognize his or her emotions and to sooth and heal them if they are of despair.. When this does not happen, the child locks the unbearable emotions in a secure place and forms an intra psychic model that works as a defense against the unhealthy separation and its emotions. This is how the distorted landscape inside is designed. There are no other options as the child is completely dependent on the mirroring to create the sense of self. The child can not integrate the fact that the parents are not able to give what he/she needs emotionally.
The disorder (the false self) is an intra psychic split into 2 units of the psyche:
The split Self Model
Object related defense Unit
Shows itself as fully ``object (-the other) focused``, and is acted out to achieve nutrition from object. (omni-potence). Or as reject nutrition (victim) from object. In either cases, both the victim and omni potent state is a defense against the separation anxiety and abandonment depression
Impaired self Unit
Shows itself as severe lack of or no sense of worth and is acted out with addictions, apathy, severe anxiety, rage, eating disorders, isolation, multiple partners etc. Also created to defend against the separation anxiety and abandonment depression .
Suicidal Urges
Is a message that there is something in Your life that can not be tolerated any longer, and is the body`s way of saying stop!
This is a place to grow new hope and start new beginnings. Unfortunately the conventional health system do not offer insight or the right help and many (young) people choose to act on the urge. Do not do that! This is a good place for change if you learn to listen to your emotions and what they tell you to not, - by any circumstances, tolerate any longer!
The clue here is to not act out the anger on the “other” , when you realize this, but use your anger to form limits and boundaries, make changes after your own true self, and tell your truth with integrity.
Therapeutic Visions
The Real Self
merges if the false self (the split self model) is not acted out,
that means, the defense unit (the split model) is dormant, and the wounds from the impaired self surfaces and the affect of the wounds is worked through.. The real Self is then active;
The real self act from a fundament of self organization, where the different I in different circumstances are well known and guided and supported with worth and freedom of choice. The real self expresses his creative mind and ideas independently of others
and acts according to his or
her authenticity and in reality
. Important to notice is that the real self also contains the wounds, the pain and the fear.
Under the imprisoning circumstances of a personality disorder, the real self has to be activated, as a decision, on a daily basis in the start of the recovery. This is a process of grief of huge losses, and requires patience, self soothing and self support.
and the emotions that arise, has to be worked through (emotional memory and articulation and emotional affect), not cut off!!.
Creativity
to be creative and act to develop the self requires an intra psychic structure that is not separated in two, (the defense model and the impaired self), but a ¨real self¨ expression. The object related defense model is there to prevent a separation depression. The separation depression is caused in childhood. The case with the split intra psychic model, is that neither of the two are authentic and the real self. They have been developed during childhood to prevent the emotions of unhealthy separation from parents, normally the mother. The real self is one unit with self regulation and self soothing and supportive acts, and from where the personal spontaneous idea comes. Only the true nature can be creative. The interesting creativity here, is the ability to create new and supportive thinking structures based on reality.