Separation vs Abandonment
Mirroring
¨One can say that the caregivers are an emotional mirror, that creates reciprocal parallel emotions. This is why it is called ¨mirroring¨.
Ex.
Interested, guiding parents that discover the beautiful wisdom in the child and support a healthy separation, create a healthy emotional landscape within the child.
Healthy
The word ”healthy” is synonymous with ”real” and has an important reality function. The notion of the real self is the concept of the true self: It is the position in which comes the spontaneous gesture and personal idea.
Only the true nature can be creative, act with true self care, and feel” real”.
Mirroring flaws
If the caregivers themselves suffer from unhealed mirroring flaws, they will project their internal dilemmas onto the child when intimacy is required. The child will receive reactions that are not based on the child´s true nature, but the internal dilemmas of the caregiver.
Disorder of the self
Mirroring flaws creates experiences of being abandoned, excluded,
neglected, severely misunderstood, criticized and not recognized for what, and who you are. This forms a deep loneliness and anxiety.
These core dilemmas are named:
separation anxiety and abandonment depression
Emotional memory loss
The Child cannot reason and understand that the caregivers are with flaws and creating these feelings in them. They will perceive it as themselves being ugly, invisible, inadequate, a plague, responsible for others’ emotions and responsible for `loosing` the caregivers,- and these unbearable feelings of anxiety and pain from not being lovable are locked down in a box or under a blanket of emotional memory loss.
Defense Mechanisms
occur when it is needed to keep emotions under a blanket. A great deal of defenses is needed, as the emotions of extreme vulnerability will surface with connection and interaction as an adult.
The defense mechanisms is named ´modern personality disorders´ and function for one solemn reason; to prevent the abandonment depression and the separation anxiety from the first years to surface.
Personality Disorders
expresses themselves
in adolescents or adults in character traits like: demanding admiration or needing to be the center of attention at all times and harsh and attacking reactions when not received, or, on the other hand, full occupation with the `other`, over-pleasing to achieve ´love´, and at stressed times, severe clingy behavior, or lastly isolation and distancing to feel safe.
Abandonment Depression
expressed by Mrs. D, (with schizoid disorder) when core emotions reached her consciousness:
“it´s like being in a place or in a home where I am forever left to eternal loneliness, anxiety and having no worth, without any exit” Mrs. D
Suicidal Urges
Is a message that there is something in Your life that can not be tolerated any longer. And is the body`s way of saying stop!
This is a place to grow new hope and start new beginnings. Unfortunately the conventional health system do not offer insight or the right help and many (also young) people choose to act on the urge. Do not do that! This is a good place for change if you learn to listen to your emotions and understnd the lies the trumatic emotions tell you to not, - by any circumstances, tolerate any longer!11
Extreme Deviant Behavior
The extreme deviant behavior, such as psychopathy, is not that common. We are now entering the intra structure of humans that have suffered unbearable horror and abuse. When a person has reached a psychological point of fracture (ref; resilience frame), the emotions from the original horror are completely cut off from all emotional memory. The blanket is not there anymore, and vulnerabilities do not surface. The defense mechanisms are extreme and conscious. Full identification with the abuser remains.
Chemical Induced Psychopathy
The psychopathy core distortion has to be differentiated from chemical and drug created psychopathy (an accepted and quite normal form of behavior in the white-collar culture for quite a while and more and more common as a ´recreational state`, among the younger generation), - a condition that will disappear, when the drug is removed. (Though replaced by possible psychosis during detox).
resilience is a differnet way of perceiving `health`. With the reality function, `healthy´ or ´true´ development` as a concept of acts investing in humans. It is the position in which true acts of knowledge development and creativity launches behavior benefical to humans and planetary health.